Caged Bird

I dream of having wings in order to fly

Fly out of my cage into the topless blue sky

It traps me within, containing my rage

People pass me by and are amused, there’s no escape

I scream and I cry feeling powerless… a simple captured bird

They may hear my voice but they never interpret my words

I see all the others walking so free

And I tell myself be firm it could some day be me

But a trained bird gets used to its supervised cage

You let it go free… yet it returns the next day

So I go back and forth getting captured in the storm

I have no other place to rest. I have no other place to keep warm

So I may dream… dream of wings to fly away

But its only a way out… its only an escape

So I realize I dont need to be the gorgeous bird with wild wings

Maybe God made me to be strong and spiritually free…

~Elle

I Smile

Loads of confusion and despair running through my mind and my veins.

Times when Im lost and running in circles, fighting against your reigns.

But each day I rise and part my lips to show you my shine.

Pearly whites dare you to cause trouble, attempting to force them to hide.

I smile when Im angry and even when my face stings from your constant lashing.

I smile when Im bruised and hurt, even when my heart has been given a bashing.

This grin is not always real but it tries to feed positive energy to you.

Simply contagious, I notice, as you return the favor without a single clue.

There’s a dark storm inside but my eyes read calm flickering candles lights.

Calming you slowly as I listen to your woeful and unfortunate plights.

I smile even when I want to be in a corner and live off that pitiful frown.

Forcing myself to produce happiness and swallow all of my troubles down.

It soon becomes natural and I forget why I was originally so worried.

I float on a cloud and dance in the wind just like light snow flurries.

As the day goes on I no longer have to pretend that all my worries are gone.

It has grown on me, mind has cleared, and I continue to spread the smile along.

Dear Blog: I Nurture

It seems so long ago that you needed me. But not that long ago. Long enough to miss the connection. But not long enough to forget the emotions. Your bright eyes playing a game with my own. Daring me to blink but forcing me to stare. Fingers tickled my face as you drank until your heart was content. Cheeks moved with purpose as I studied and caught the rhythm. Tracing the features of your face sketching every detail into my brain. Feeding you warmth and memories that I too would hold onto in the passing years. I blister... I shudder in discomfort. But nothing is more important than the in and out... in and out... in and out of your suckle. You needed me. And I needed you more I will admit. The twinkle in your eyes gave me light. The pressure of your grasp drove my motivation. My mind juggled you and my struggles and sometimes something would take me away from our moment. Then the tickle of your tiny fingers brought me back to you. In and out... in and out... in and out again. Our eyes met and they danced together. You took a small piece of my being away but I felt more fulfilled. We would shut the world out and created our own cloud to float on. No one else mattered or existed in that time. Time no longer existed. It was just us... swallowed up in love. If I had nothing else in my being to give you, I gave you my heart and my being. For you I loved... I fought... I shed my selfishness... I surrendered. For you I nurtured. 

~Elle

Breastfeeding is a beautiful connection between mother and child. It holds many benefits for not only the infant, but the mother as well. I was blessed to be able to give my daughter the gift of breastfeeding well over the recommended time frame. I strongly encourage others as well to at least try. My daughter is now 6 and remembers nursing. It's a very special bonding experience that I am happy to have experience. 

A World of Pink Toys and Lollipops.

So innocent and pure while they live in their own world of pink toys and lollipops.

I close my eyes and can smell their newborn essence… that scent just won’t escape me.

Beats at me to remember… to hold on to the emotion stirred by the smell.

Can still hear the innocent cries getting louder commanding attention.

Can remember the need and peaceful stare as she suckled at my milky breast and gazed into what felt like my soul.

That stare that says I need you… you amaze me… please protect me.

They will always be my little girls. Always be my sunshine.

They lead me… they teach me… they keep me alive and with purpose.

I smile at them and they smile back and for a split second, I don’t have a care in the world.

Their smiles lead me to want to dance with them in their world of pink toys and lollipops.

To my beautiful daughters Marie and Trinity. You will always be my sunshine.

~Elle

I Am...

I am my mother's child. Strong and determined. Loving and enthusiastic.

I am my father's child. Ever changing and stubborn. Closed and neglected.

I am beyond what you see, beyond the inner me that I allow to be gazed upon.

I am birthed from Indians and Italians, Jamaicans and Britons, a big mixing pot like most.

I am a procrastinator yet impulsive. Addictive and rare.

I am 1 million symbols trying to be deciphered by 1 million men. I am the color black and white, but never grey.

I can be odd yet fit into the circle in which you thrive. I am the opposite of what you’re thinking right now… I am… I am

~Elle